the no rules rule

aka the nude inside the psyche

if you would’ve asked me at age 16 what I will do with myself when im a grownup, I would’ve never thought I'll be taking nude self-portraits, especially not that I would share them with anyone, let alone thousands of people.

I don’t know how I ended up here. all I know is that this makes sense. not in my mind, but in my body. I cannot help but look— at myself. if you are a woman… do you do this? do you stand in front of the mirror for long minutes and just look at your body? do you trace the changes like a map?

much has changed in my 30s. my body has gone through abuse, trauma, aging, addiction. everything that’s happened is visible on my skin, the shape of me. but the most profound change I've experienced is internal… Im arriving to a place where I don’t only appreciate the so called imperfections, but feel deliberately inspired by them.

there are ideals engraved in my brain I have the chance to say fuck-off to every time I choose to feel instead of pose. every time I let the soft animal of my body love what it loves and dare to risk being seen while doing so, I unbecome.

nothing
pleases me more
than my own sense of freedom
nothing
as sweet
as the no rules rule

—while in Budapest last week, my sister Melcsi booked us a studio where we primarily went to take photos of her wearing Oddobody panties. at the end of our session we still had studio time. I decided to use that to take some photos of myself.

I had 15mins to create these self portraits. by then I felt the space and light, but I had no idea what to create. I quickly, intuitively decided simply to follow what my body naturally wants to do. looking back on the pictures, I think this method reveals what’s happening in my psyche.

edition 2 of our women-only writers collective bodytext is held sept-dec this year. waitlist is now open here. you need zero writing experience— its all about freeing the voice

writing/prompts

1. make a list of the crazy, risk taking stuff you do as an adult you wouldn’t have thought you’ll be doing. then create a bonus list of 3 things you want to do/try till the end of this year

2. create your own no rules rule ::: write a short manifesto to declare your freedom of expression. write in notebook or on single paper to stick on a wall where you’ll often see it

3. what do you love about the new changes appearing on/in your body?

4. fuck-off. use this as a prompt. set your timer on 7mins and just let it out. remember that the rule is always that there is no rules. just say what you need to say the way you want to say it. in the end you can burn it or throw in the trash. nobody needs to see it. you can let it out

5. next time you are in front of the mirror naked or semi naked, looking at yourself, take your time and trace your skin and shapes like a map. what do you discover?

6. how has the difficult events in your life shape the way you feel inside your body? what has become easier, what has been more challenging?

7. nothing pleases me more than… —finish the sentence. repeat 10 times

writing has saved my life and i’ve become a little obsessed with it. a notebook can be the safest, most private space to express what we otherwise cannot. so every thursday when i post i share prompts— mostly for writing, but sometimes also activity ideas that bring you back into your body and a sensual kind of noticing. this is very a similar to what we do inside our women-only online writers collective bodytext